(previously on Buffy)

Episode 8: I Robot, You Jane

• 1:30 AM, 3/16/13

• 1:32 AM, 3/16/13

• 1:35 AM, 3/16/13

• 1:37 AM, 3/16/13

• 1:40 AM, 3/16/13

okay

what

was my high school the only high school to NOT have an Ancient Fucked Up Books section?

• 1:44 AM, 3/16/13

“You can uhhhhh skin it.”

“Scan it, Giles.”

Giles, REALLY

“SKIN IT”?

COME ON

YOU’RE A FUCKING LIBRARIAN, NOT A VICTORIAN TIME TRAVELER

• 1:48 AM, 3/16/13

“This is the good box.”

“I prefer a good book.”

• 1:51 AM, 3/16/13

“THE PRINTED WORD IS OBSOLETE”

uhg this guy is like the human embodiment of 4chan

• 1:55 AM, 3/16/13

• 1:58 AM, 3/16/13

whoa, there is some mad sexual tension between Giles and this computer sciences lady

it’s the age old tale of old vs new

so much hostility and barely-disguised lust

this is like those Mac vs PC commercials all over again

• 2:01 AM, 3/16/13

is that seriously how we used to scan things?

that is some star trek looking shit right there

• 2:03 AM, 3/16/13

oh man

i forgot what computers used to look like

• 2:06 AM, 3/16/13

• 2:08 AM, 3/16/13

“IT’S THE 90’S

DO A LOT OF E

AND VOTE FOR BILL CLINTON”

• 2:10 AM, 3/16/13

oh my god, Willow and Buffy are talking about how Willow was online last night which was why Buffy couldn’t call her

REMEMBER DIAL-UP GUYS

those were dark days

• 2:11 AM, 3/16/13

so Willow’s got some secret online beau and Buffy’s being all “blah blah he could be a murderer blah” and uhg

SHE’S SUCH A NORMAL

• 2:14 AM, 3/16/13

• 2:17 AM, 3/16/13
  

you need to get those grades up, girl

• 2:19 AM, 3/16/13

ruh roh

• 2:22 AM, 3/16/13

is that….

is that a laptop

• 2:25 AM, 3/16/13

• 2:27 AM, 3/16/13

Xander, you can’t be all BUFFY BUFFY BUFFY and then as soon as Willow likes someone, get all jealous

don’t be a douchecanoe

• 2:30 AM, 3/16/13

Willow’s getting in deep with this Malcolm dude

they won’t meet in person, she hasn’t been sleeping and is missing class

I SMELL A LIFETIME MOVIE IN THE MAKING

• 2:35 AM, 3/16/13

dude

wait

is that

IS THAT ASH

…IT TOTALLY IS

always the computer geek, never the heartthrob

• 2:37 AM, 3/16/13

uhg, buffy, IT’S NOT CALLED AN E-LETTER

COME ON

• 2:40 AM, 3/16/13

4chan’s looking angry

• 2:42, 3/16/13

• 2:45 AM, 3/16/13

oh my god

• 2:50 AM, 3/16/13

• 2:53 AM, 3/16/13

oh shit

• 2:55 AM, 3/16/13

4CHAN

NOOOOOOO

• 2:58 AM, 3/16/13

• 3:10 AM, 3/16/13

• 3:15 AM, 3/16/13

AUGH WILLOW

YOUR INTERNET BOYFRIEND IS SHREDDER

• 3:18 AM, 3/16/13

oh willow

all the good ones are gay, taken, or turn out to be ancient robot demons you accidentally released from a book prison

• 3:20 AM, 3/16/13

OH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

• 3:23 AM, 3/16/13

• 3:26 AM, 3/16/13

make your move Giles

• 3:28 AM, 3/16/12

giles is super good at finding jewelry

• 3:30 AM, 3/16/13

Giles: “Well, I don’t dangle a corkscrew from my ear.”

Computer lady: “That’s not where I dangle it.”

WHOA WHOA WHOA

IS SHE SAYING SHE WEARS DANGLY EARRINGS ON HER VAGINA?!

• 3:35 AM, 3/16/13

Buffy: “Let’s face it – none of us are ever going to have a happy, normal relationship!”

Xander: “We’re doomed!”

this feels an awful lot like foreshadowing

• 3:40 AM, 3/16/13

why is there always a puppet episode

---

Episode 9: The Puppet Show

• 8:00 PM, 3/19/13

imma gonna go ahead and liveblog this episode because it looks like it revolves around Xander and puppets and I could use something stupid right now

• 8:02 PM, 3/19/13

huh

so already there is this creepy dude’s voice narrating over this

• 8:05 PM, 3/19/13

okay, so this is a HIGH SCHOOL talent show and there are more than two people performing?

I call bullshit

• 8:08 PM, 3/19/13

I know it’s early to say this…

but fuck that puppet

no

• 8:10 PM, 3/19/13

not to be a little miss questioning-of-plot-points, but why exactly is giles of all people running the talent show

I highly doubt there are gonna be books in this talent show, Giles

this isn’t your scene

what are you doing

• 8:15 PM, 3/19/13

whoa, Cordelia just straight-up William Hung-ed it on stage

that’s still a fresh reference, right?

 

 

 

• 8:18 PM, 3/19/13

whoa, this new principal is a total dickwad

he just openly was like “the last principal was a joke, he was eaten”

YEAH, THAT’S NOT A METAPHOR, GUY

HE WAS LITERALLY EATEN

TOO SOON, ASSHOLE

• 8:20 PM, 3/19/13

“I think dummies are cute. You don’t?”

NO, WILLOW

NO ONE THINKS DUMMIES ARE CUTE

UNLESS THEY’RE A SERIAL KILLER

AND EVEN THEN THEIR OPINIONS ARE SUSPECT

• 8:24 PM, 3/19/13

dude

• 8:28 PM, 3/19/13

oop

the backlit murder filter is on

it was nice knowing you, random ballerina highschooler

• 8:30 PM, 3/19/13

SOME DEMON VOICE JUST SAID “I WILL BE FLESH” AND THE BALLERINA SCREAMED

WHAT THE FUCK, SHOW

• 8:33 PM, 3/19/13

Willow. Baby.

Again with the FUCKING PATTERNS

• 8:35 PM, 3/19/13

“Once you go wood, nothing’s as good!”

……………………………..

• 8:37 PM, 3/19/13

okay, I know a very serious story line is developing, dummies killing people, blah blah blah

but what the fuck is on Xander’s shirt

• 8:39 PM, 3/19/13

man, it’s nice of Carrot Top to make a cameo

• 8:45 PM, 3/19/13

nooooooope

super not liking this dummy, guys

super

not

liking

• 8:47 PM, 3/19/13

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, ME AND MY PUPPET JUST YELL AT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME

MY THERAPIST SAID IT’S TOTALLY NORMAL”

“………………said?”

• 8:50 PM, 3/19/13

mmmmmm, giles

• 8:55 PM, 3/19/13

nooooo, Buffy

• 8:56 PM, 3/19/13

uhg, new principal is the worst

he’s all “blah blah blah, rules rules rules, I hate murder, blah”

what a square

• 8:59 PM, 3/19/13

• 9:02 PM, 3/19/13

NO, SHOW

FUCK YOU

• 9:05 PM, 3/19/13

ILLUSIONS!

• 9:08 PM, 3/19/13

that’s it

I officially hate this fucking puppet

• 9:10 PM, 3/19/13

WHO THE HELL BRINGS THEIR DUMMY TO CLASS?

HAVE SOME COMMON COURTESY AND LEAVE YOUR GODDAMN NIGHTMARE FUEL IN YOUR LOCKER

• 9:14 PM, 3/19/13

okay lady, I know you’re probably well-meaning

but this kid is obviously having a mental breakdown because you took his fucking puppet away for like a half an hour

BE MORE CONCERNED

• 9:20 PM, 3/19/13

• 9:22 PM, 3/19/13

and Xander CONTINUES TO ANTAGONIZE THE PUPPET

I know they’re just responding to him being annoying, but their faces really do capture how I feel at the moment

• 9:25 PM, 3/19/13

oh my god

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH THE PUPPET, XANDER

YET YOU IMMEDIATELY LEFT HIM ALONE

YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB

• 9:29 PM, 3/19/13

“AH, PRINCIPAL SATAN!”

• 9:33 PM, 3/19/13

okay, I know you got scared about the dummy disappearing, but like

you know it was a puppet, not a mouse

right

• 9:35 PM, 3/19/13

well, the puppet demon just stepped shit up by dropping an actual chandelier on Buffy

• 9:40 PM, 3/19/13

wait

the dummy is a regular human who hunts demons but is trapped as a dummy

WAIT

WHAT

• 9:42 PM, 3/19/13

Okay, the dummy just lost any sympathy points for being a trapped demon hunter by totally perving on Buffy

• 9:46 PM, 3/19/13

• 9:50 PM, 3/19/13

so Buffy’s just chillaxing with this demon-hunter-turned-puppet, shooting the shit about killing stuff and banging chicks back in the 30’s

I watch both Doctor Who and Supernatural on a regular basis and even I think this is surreal

• 9:52 PM, 3/19/13

this feels weirdly racist…

but I still don’t trust that fucking puppet

• 9:55 PM, 3/19/13

• 9:58 PM, 3/19/13

Whoa, crazypants argues-with-puppets Jackson apparently WASN’T crazy and was all twitchy and weird because he had brain cancer

THIS EPISODE KEEPS PULLING 6TH-SENSE LEVEL TWISTS ON ME

IT’S HURTING MY BRAINHOLE

• 10:01 PM, 3/19/13

OH SHIT

THE ACTUAL DEMON IS THE MOUTH-BREATHING ILLUSIONIST

• 10:05 PM, 3/19/13

so this demon chose giles because I guess his brain is the tastiest since he’s so smart

which is ironic because in order to GET that brain, giles is going to have to willingly put his head in this obviously sharp guillotine

but then he died. for real.

and now

um

okay

uh

this show is really weird

(next week on buffy)