Why White People Suck: We Like To Pretend Jesus Was White

weeping-jesus

Your ignorance makes Jesus cry. Good job, whitey.

The only time Jesus should ever be white is when he’s made of marble. Or white chocolate. Delicious white chocolate.*

Let’s be real – good ole Yahshua was a dude who was born, raised, and died in the Middle East. Bro was Middle Eastern. He probably looked a hell of a lot more like someone who would make white people nervous on planes than fucking Josh Groban.

The next time I go into a cathedral and see some blue-eyed, blond-haired, Aryan Jesus staring down at me like I just disappointed him at the recent HOA meeting, I’m getting a pentagram tattoo.

*Note: the author does not endorse eating Jesus

 

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