Why White People Suck: #BoycottStarWarsVII

I am one of those nerds who got pretty turned off by Star Wars when the prequels came out (my friend and I had an expensive Millennium Falcon that we co-owned and subsequently sold after The Phantom Menace came out), so I’m no stranger to nerd rage.

But now nerds are taking to twitter to #BoycottStarWarsVII because it is, and I quote, “anti-white.”

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Clearly the casting director hates white people.

Oh no, what are you supposed to do… empathize with a black guy? Pfft. White people shouldn’t have to empathize with anyone except other white people! Asking anything else is ANTI-WHITE AND WE WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.

Fish-faced aliens I can buy, but black people in space? No thanks! It really brings me out of the universe.

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Totally unbelievable.

I want to make something clear: fuck these people. Fuck their lazy entitled whining and fuck their lazy entitled reasoning. Literally every movie in mainstream media is made for white people. You know how I know that? Because movies made for black people always have the addendum: this was made for black people. It’s a black people movie. Much like girl movies aren’t just movies, they’re chick flicks.

So whatever, cry it up, nerd bros. God knows you were fine with them making Khan a white boy in Star Trek Into Darkness (another JJ Abrams venture) even though he was originally portrayed by Ricardo Montalbán and has been alluded to being of fucking Sikh descent.

You’re all bad nerds. Actually, you know what? No. You’re fake nerds. You don’t love the material unless it’s just giving you a big old fan service-y handjob. If you want a sci fi movie starring a white dude, watch literally any other sci fi movie made since the beginning of movies and then go back to trying to learn how to suck your own dicks since it’s probably the only way you’ll do anything productive.

Seriously, dudes. I have farts that have more reasoned opinions than you do but at least I have enough common courtesy to keep them to myself.

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