Why White People Suck: We Like To Pretend Jesus Was White


Your ignorance makes Jesus cry. Good job, whitey.

The only time Jesus should ever be white is when he’s made of marble. Or white chocolate. Delicious white chocolate.*

Let’s be real – good ole¬†Yahshua was a dude who was born, raised, and died in the Middle East. Bro was Middle Eastern. He probably looked a hell of a lot more like someone who would make white people nervous on planes than fucking Josh Groban.

The next time I go into a cathedral and see some blue-eyed, blond-haired, Aryan Jesus staring down at me like I just disappointed him at the recent HOA meeting, I’m getting a pentagram tattoo.

*Note: the author does not endorse eating Jesus